Grief is a feeling of despair, uncontrollable and inevitable loss, disappointment, pain, numbness and sadness, an experience that can last a moment or a lifetime, something that is not tangible and can cause isolation and a feeling of alone. Grief is a normal reaction to any kind of loss, as well as, all of the emotions that coincide with the grief, although some emotions may feel abnormal due to misunderstood or unidentified grief, they are not (James & Friedman, 2009). Grief has various definitions, as it is an experience that all individuals face, and in different ways, depending on their loss, and this can cause for confusion and conflicting feelings. These conflicting feelings are usually caused by change in some aspect of an individual’s life, such as, death, and in this case, loss of innocence and identity. Grief is something that is experienced on so many levels, as the feeling the feeling of change and loss do not necessarily have to correspond with what we conceive to be a negative belief. Below is a list of the various forms of grief that an individual may experience within their lifetime (James & Friedman, 2009). Death of a loved one Death of
Author: Recovery Love & Care
Awareness in Body Checking: Taking One More Step Towards Living a Body Positive Life
As another extension to my body positive series, today’s post is about body checking. Body checking is a very common behavior within individuals with Eating Disorders. What do I mean by body checking? Body checking: Constant “checking”, looking, touching, and/or intensely focusing on a body part and/or section or area of your body. The “checking” is fueled by insecurities on how the individual thinks or feels that they look. My Story: This is something that many individuals struggle with throughout their Eating Disorder. One main form of body checking is involves mirror checking…. It started at the young age of ten, when I went through puberty, every single time I went to use the restroom, whether it was in a public place, school, work, or at home, I would wash my hands, look in the mirror, suck in my stomach, and slightly lift my shirt, to check my belly with my hand in the mirror. Every time I looked at my belly in the mirror I hoped to find some sort of strength, success, and worth. It became so much of a habit that I did not even realize I was doing it. One day my nutritionist advised me to
Find your Flow and Growth within 2017
Happy Day to everyone!! 2017, I have positive, healthy and manageable expectations for you!…..oh my….even I rolled my eyes while writing that! What I mean is that, as we move into this new year, I remind myself, and others, that a specific day and number do not dictate the outcome for the next 365 days of life! Instead, our thoughts, words, and actions affect the present and future, therefore having healthy expectations about this “new year” is incredibly helpful to our happiness, because, yes, we will set out a new plan and goals for ourselves, but we will have ourselves to thank for bringing any change to our current life flow. I use the word expectation fairly often within my blog posts, and I do this because expectations can either set us up for success, and reality, or failure and disappointment, therefore when a manageable, and positive expectation is set, only growth can occur…no matter the actual outcome. As you set these expectations for 2017, I encourage you to change your train of thought and consider your current situation. Within your life, are you allowing flow? Are you truly experiencing the present, and flowing through the reality of your individual
Turkey Day Tips
Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, and along with the busy schedules, family gatherings, and holiday celebrations, comes copious amounts of food, and with that, feelings of vulnerability and maybe even fear. Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time, but it can also be incredibly triggering and overwhelming for individuals living within their eating disorder or individuals within recovery. Here are some quick tips to get you ready for Turkey Day and all of the joy and spirit that comes with it! Prepare for Re-entry by managing your expectations…..click here to read more! Set yourself up for success! You don’t HAVE to abide by all of the cultural traditions and odd rules that come with “giving thanks.” In other words, try to look at this holiday as any other day, in that you don’t HAVE to eat copious amounts of food in order to celebrate properly! You don’t HAVE to partake in the somewhat twisted traditions like running in a marathon or “turkey trot”, in order to “earn” your meal. You don’t HAVE to starve yourself all day in order to “indulgence” in dinner. Instead, you can go about your day as you usually would, listen to your body, eat when
An Honest Look At Body Image Within Eating Disorder Recovery – Series pt. 1
Body Image. This is a tough one….I have said it before, and I will say it again and again….positive body image ALMOST ALWAYS comes last within recovery. Loving what you see in the mirror, appreciating your size, your weight, your natural curves, and appreciating all of the beautiful flaws within your physical image is so much harder than it seems. So many individual’s struggle with this aspect of recovery….in that the mind can get away from us at times, and we start to become emotionally and sometimes physically consumed by the unrealistic perceptions we have about how we currently “see” ourself, how we want to “see” ourself, how we “see” other’s in comparison to ourself, and how we believe other’s “see” us. Yep, it sounds exhausting, and maybe even ridiculous, but this is the mind of someone within recovery. I use these words carefully, in that when I say “see ourself”, or how “we see others”, I mean this literally, because that is what we are doing, I do not mean how we look or who we are, instead I mean how we perceive ourself. At times it seems that the physical self is somewhat dissociated from the emotional
Spread the Love
Today is a confusing day for several, a hopeless day for some, a victory for several, and a tumultuous day for all. Our country is divided right now, more so than ever. I spoke with Sean, my family, friends and loved ones this morning, and I heard so much sadness, hopelessness and fear in their words, this was scary….our sadness is provoking a feeling of fear, or vice versa, and with fear comes hate, and hate solves nothing. So let’s spread the love today, all day, everyday. Shake off that fear, and bring hope to yourself, your loved ones, and just any random person on the street, because that is the only thing that will get us through this tumultuous time. We may not all agree with each other, but love is something I truly believe our country is capable of, we are TOO GOOD for hate, we have gotten through so much to go back to hateful behavior. So if you are feeling vulnerable, sad, angry, happy, thrilled, scared, hopeful or hopeless, know that you are loved, and that love is the only thing that will bring you and others happiness. Practice self-love, as self-love is what self-care is
Essential Oils and Self-Care Series pt.1
Essential oils are the Holy Grail to my self-care routine. They were an amazing supplement to my therapy, nutrition planning, and treatment plan during the beginning of my recovery. Therefore, I will be starting a Self-Care series about how I use essential oils within my daily, and weekly routine. Today’s post is dedicated to prevention and intervention for that oh so dreaded cold….yes it’s that season, everyone is getting sick, therefore why not boost that immune system and soothe the senses!? When it comes to Eating Disorder Recovery, getting sick with a cold, or the stomach flu, or really anything, is just a part of the process. Your body is doing its very best to build up your immune system, therefore weird things start to happen, like getting sick! In the beginning of my own recovery, I was constantly sick with a cold, sinus infection, bloated, and swollen, because my body was figuring out how to be healthy again…. because in reality, my body wasn’t being treated very well for a good ten years! This was the hard part of recovery…. remember, it gets worse before it gets better! Therefore, essential oils played a major part within this not so
Eating Disorders in Males-#EatingDisordersItsNotJustAWhiteGirlThing
Penn State Kicker, Joey Julius recently went public with his Eating Disorder. Julius spoke on his diagnosis of Binge Eating Disorder (BED) with purging behaviors and bulimic tendencies. It is public figures, like Joey, that can be an inspiration, and voice for females and males around the country who are living with Eating Disorders. You can read Joey’s story here. For today’s post, we are getting “a bit clinical” and tearing down those misperceptions and false assumptions about Eating Disorders. So many individuals believe that an Eating Disorders (ED) is “just a white girl thing”, that ED is just about women wanting to be a certain size, that it about women who eat too many salads, its about rich girls who don’t appreciate what they have, it is just a thing that the spoiled, white, rich girl deals with….this list of misperceptions goes on and on and on…. The truth is that males live with Eating Disorders too, it IS NOT JUST A WHITE GIRL DISORDER!! Here are some truths behind those false assumptions when it comes to males and Eating Disorders, according to current peer reviewed, clinical research and the Diagnostic Statistic Manual volume 5 (DSM-5) Males represent 25% of
First Aid Self-Care
Okay….so about this self care thing! Many people think that self care is just another term for being selfish, some people think it is this new creation made by the Millennial generation to fight the corporate life, but in truth, Self-Care is something that is necessary for each and every individual! And, if you don’t practice Self-Care, you will most likely end up being/having a “break down” of some sort, sleep deprived, malnourished, sick, late to work, struggling with daily tasks, and not being able to bring your best self to whatever it is that you do! Self-Care is the crux to being our best selves, and when we forget to care for ourselves, we lose sight of what is important, and we end up in a state of crisis! With that being said, prevention is key when practicing Self-Care. By prevention, I mean making sure that you avoid that dreaded breakdown due to being overworked, overtired, and not taking the time to take care of yourself! Therefore, anyone that struggles with the concept of Self-Care, or maybe finding the time to practice Self-Care, will benefit from the two analogies stated below… Airplane Oxygen Mask Self-Care: Think about that oh so
Acknowleging Your Anxiety and Protecting Your Recovery With Prevention #MotivationIsNotJustForMondays
TGIF, am I right?! It seems as though the world is going a bit crazy as of late, and I hope that anyone and everyone that is within Hurricane Matthew’s path or wake is out of harms way and safe! On Fridays I usually focus on Physical Exercise and Healthy Motivations, but today will be a bit different, in that my situation has changed a bit this week! I am going into a procedure this afternoon to have an oh so dreaded double gum graft and I thought it would be perfect to touch on acknowledging anxiety, protecting your recovery, and maintaining healthy motivations through self care and physical exercise! I had a quadruple gum graft about five and a half years ago, and let me tell you it was AWFUL! My periodontist was shocked with how long it took me to heal from the graft, and how long it took me to recover from the pain….and we quickly realized that this was due to my intense anxiety! I am sure that many of you can relate, in that my anxiety manifests itself in ways that are not necessarily visible to the outside world! For instance, so much of my anxiety “comes