Buckle in for a funny and plot twisting post, you’ll be shocked at what happens! At the very beginning of my Eating Disorder (ED) Recovery, Sean and I moved in with one another. Maybe I should be clearer, I moved in with Sean and three of his friends, and yes, I know what you are thinking… Why would I ever do such a thing?!! Yes, it was chaotic, extremely trying and oh so difficult, but it worked! But that is for another post, this post is about my first little fur baby! When I moved into Sean’s place I decided that I needed something that I could call my own, something that I could love, hold onto, take care of, something that wasn’t connected to anyone else, and that wasn’t related to food, or my body. The Animal Adoption Center in Jackson, WY, had just received a litter of kittens, and it just so happened that I was a crazy cat lady…so it was really meant to be! Sean was on board, after a bit of convincing…and it was decided! I was going to be a kitty mother! I specifically wanted a boy, that was my only requirement. I went
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“Have You Tried That Cleanse?!”…..#OverIt
“Oh are you doing the cleanse!?” “Have you tried the Whole 30?” “You eat carbs!?” “Do you do clean eating?!” These are all questions I have been asked in the past week. No, I am not ever offended by these questions, as I believe that people are usually doing their best to exist in this world, and trying to connect on a deeper level. Yet these questions are incredibly problematic, why you ask? Because the diet culture is rampant and oh so wrong! Yes, a cleanse is a diet! Yes, the term “eating clean” is a diet culture term. Yes, restriction of ANY food group is all due to the diet-crazed culture that we live in! Also please keep in mind I am not shamming anyone who has chosen the diet life, if anything I am bringing to light the reality in which we live! These concepts, such as, cleansing the body, eating “whole” and “clean” foods, and restricting ESSENTIAL food groups such as carbs and gluten, are incredibly destructive to the human mind! Words have so much power, and these terms and concepts put labels on our daily nourishment, it claims one food as BAD and another food as
Take Up Space
In light of my new collaborative series, What WOMAN Means To me, as well as the social state in which women find themselves in on a daily basis I felt it would be beneficial to talk about the importance of community and this concept of taking up space. During childhood and adolescence and in the absence of self-care we were taught, coached and trained to constantly compete against one another. We were taught that in order to win or to make it to the top we must be better than someone else, this competition and constant comparison breeds a feeling of confusion and a state of constant second guessing ourselves. In addition to this competitive nature, women are taught, and told to be small, sweet, coy, kind, polite and caring. We were taught that in order to be a “good little girl” we must smile, stay sweet and take up AS LITTLE SPACE as possible. This concept of small has transcended into our adult years into our concept of woman hood. In addition to the whole body image piece, how is this even possible or fair?! How can young girls be expected to thrive and grow while being told
The Awareness Doesn’t Stop Here!
National Eating Disorder Awarness Week is coming to an end, but the awareness does not stop here! I got this tattoo almost three years ago, this tattoo represents, strength, beauty, self love, self worth, and recovery! After living with an Eating Disorder the majority of my young life, I can now say I am recovered! Full Recovery IS POSSIBLE, but it takes hard work, dedication, and desire to grow and change! It was the most difficult and trying journey, but oh my goodness was it worth it! Let’s continue to spread awareness, truth and education about ED Recovery! Below are three truths within ED Recovery, that I will touch upon throughout my future posts!
Awareness in Body Checking: Taking One More Step Towards Living a Body Positive Life
As another extension to my body positive series, today’s post is about body checking. Body checking is a very common behavior within individuals with Eating Disorders. What do I mean by body checking? Body checking: Constant “checking”, looking, touching, and/or intensely focusing on a body part and/or section or area of your body. The “checking” is fueled by insecurities on how the individual thinks or feels that they look. My Story: This is something that many individuals struggle with throughout their Eating Disorder. One main form of body checking is involves mirror checking…. It started at the young age of ten, when I went through puberty, every single time I went to use the restroom, whether it was in a public place, school, work, or at home, I would wash my hands, look in the mirror, suck in my stomach, and slightly lift my shirt, to check my belly with my hand in the mirror. Every time I looked at my belly in the mirror I hoped to find some sort of strength, success, and worth. It became so much of a habit that I did not even realize I was doing it. One day my nutritionist advised me to
Find your Flow and Growth within 2017
Happy Day to everyone!! 2017, I have positive, healthy and manageable expectations for you!…..oh my….even I rolled my eyes while writing that! What I mean is that, as we move into this new year, I remind myself, and others, that a specific day and number do not dictate the outcome for the next 365 days of life! Instead, our thoughts, words, and actions affect the present and future, therefore having healthy expectations about this “new year” is incredibly helpful to our happiness, because, yes, we will set out a new plan and goals for ourselves, but we will have ourselves to thank for bringing any change to our current life flow. I use the word expectation fairly often within my blog posts, and I do this because expectations can either set us up for success, and reality, or failure and disappointment, therefore when a manageable, and positive expectation is set, only growth can occur…no matter the actual outcome. As you set these expectations for 2017, I encourage you to change your train of thought and consider your current situation. Within your life, are you allowing flow? Are you truly experiencing the present, and flowing through the reality of your individual
An Honest Look At Body Image Within Eating Disorder Recovery – Series pt. 1
Body Image. This is a tough one….I have said it before, and I will say it again and again….positive body image ALMOST ALWAYS comes last within recovery. Loving what you see in the mirror, appreciating your size, your weight, your natural curves, and appreciating all of the beautiful flaws within your physical image is so much harder than it seems. So many individual’s struggle with this aspect of recovery….in that the mind can get away from us at times, and we start to become emotionally and sometimes physically consumed by the unrealistic perceptions we have about how we currently “see” ourself, how we want to “see” ourself, how we “see” other’s in comparison to ourself, and how we believe other’s “see” us. Yep, it sounds exhausting, and maybe even ridiculous, but this is the mind of someone within recovery. I use these words carefully, in that when I say “see ourself”, or how “we see others”, I mean this literally, because that is what we are doing, I do not mean how we look or who we are, instead I mean how we perceive ourself. At times it seems that the physical self is somewhat dissociated from the emotional
Essential Oils and Self-Care Series pt.1
Essential oils are the Holy Grail to my self-care routine. They were an amazing supplement to my therapy, nutrition planning, and treatment plan during the beginning of my recovery. Therefore, I will be starting a Self-Care series about how I use essential oils within my daily, and weekly routine. Today’s post is dedicated to prevention and intervention for that oh so dreaded cold….yes it’s that season, everyone is getting sick, therefore why not boost that immune system and soothe the senses!? When it comes to Eating Disorder Recovery, getting sick with a cold, or the stomach flu, or really anything, is just a part of the process. Your body is doing its very best to build up your immune system, therefore weird things start to happen, like getting sick! In the beginning of my own recovery, I was constantly sick with a cold, sinus infection, bloated, and swollen, because my body was figuring out how to be healthy again…. because in reality, my body wasn’t being treated very well for a good ten years! This was the hard part of recovery…. remember, it gets worse before it gets better! Therefore, essential oils played a major part within this not so
Self Care Through Cooking
Cooking and the art of making meals has always been at the forefront of my own self care routine. Ever since I was in grade school, I found joy in cooking, I always helped my mom with big holiday meals, I was a cook book junkie, and I was even enrolled at a four year culinary school for a hot minute before I realized that I desired the traditional college experience. For me, cooking has always been personal, in that I love the unique creations that come about within the moment, there are no real mistakes in cooking, it is all about experimenting, and learning. Let me just say…that it took some hard work and self-love, but I was finally able to find a safe place with food again…and having a healthy relationship with food is possible! Keep in mind I am purely talking about cooking and not baking, as baking is all about measurements and accuracy…. therefore, I do not excel at baking…. But for those of you that do, please share your tips, tricks, recipes or just your story! I’m very aware, that cooking is incredibly intimidating to many people, it seems like a chore, and to most
Letting Go
The Garage Sale This past weekend, I helped my aunt and uncle, Carole and Russ, with their garage sale. They had a lifetime’s worth of “things” displayed in their garage…things that were filled with memories and stories, things that were being sold to strangers and categorized with a dollar sign in place of memories and emotions. As I sorted through all of Carole and Russ’s goodies, treasures, and “junk” it truly struck a chord. Letting go is scary, it makes you vulnerable, it has meaning, and we cannot move on, whether that is figuratively or literally, until we truly let go. This made me think, why is it that we hold onto things with all of our might, especially when it is so clear that letting go would be the healthiest and best choice? Sometimes it seems like it should be so easy, but it’s the “simple” things that are truly the hardest to let go! When it comes to my own journey within eating disorder recovery, my Eating Disorder (ED) was much like an abusive relationship. I fought with ED, I bickered with ED, I was emotionally intimate with ED, I lived with ED, ED abused me, I was