Finding a positive and healthy body image is so incredibly challenging…especially when you don’t FEEL as if you look your best! But first let me remind you…FAT IS NOT A FEELING! Once you can come to terms with this concept, you will feel free from this socialized stigma that comes along with the word fat. You will find freedom in your independent body, you will find love and truth with who you are and what you “look like.”
But Why?
Each and every one of your feelings and emotions is valid, therefore, once you identify your ACTUAL FEELINGS….NOT YOUR FAT FEELINGS you will be on your way towards a healthy body image!
Whenever I “feel” fat….I always need to remind myself that FAT IS NOT A FEELING…and when I forget, which admittedly is quite often, Sean reminds me, my support system reminds me!
Identify Your Feelings
Once I remind myself that fat is not a feeling, I first refer to my trusty vocabulary wheel…which I basically have memorized…I then identify my feelings. I suggest you give this baby a good look, because it is gold!
Once you can identify your “fat feeling” through a broader vocabulary, it is that much easier to face that feeling and/or feelings.
Facing your feelings looks different for each and every person, and is dependent on the situation. For instance, there are times where I find that instead of “feeling” fat, I feel vulnerable and powerless. I then identify what I NEED based off of these feelings….in the moments I feel vulnerable and powerless I usually need extra love, whether that be self love, or love from another being. Sometimes I lay down with a good book and cup of tea, other times I cuddle up with my dog Gio and a glass of wine, other times I just blatantly tell Sean that I need a bit more love, and ask for a hug!
When you “feel” fat try thinking of what you truly NEED. Most often what you need is happiness, and then ask yourself how you can TRULY achieve that happiness! What will bring you to an emotional level of what you NEED? Try identifying your feelings, then identifying what you need, and then identifying how you can get that, is it self-care? Is it sleep? Is it a hug? Is it a good cry?
Live an AND life
Here is another thing to keep in mind…it is possible, and more often than not, very likely to feel more than one feeling! Therefore, instead of using BUT, use AND. For instance, you CAN feel sad AND happy at the same time; you CAN feel guilty AND confident at the same time! Once you identify your “fat feeling” as a valid feeling, you may find that you have several feelings flooding your mind and body….and once you identify those feelings, you can face each one head on in a SAFE AND HEALTHY way.
If you do not feel that you are in a safe place to identify and face your feelings alone….then do it when you are safe, when you are with a loved one, when you are with a helping professional, and then once you are safe, you can slowly learn how to gain the courage to face those “fat feelings” on your own.
The more you face your “fat feelings” the more often those feelings will change to “healthy body” and “body positive” feelings.
Find Freedom in “Fat”
Once you identify your fat feelings, and come to terms with what you NEED, YOU CAN AND WILL FIND FREEDOM! Separating your feelings from your perceived “fat” is a beautiful thing, but taking away the stigma of being “fat” is an entire different type of freedom! Why is it bad to be fat, why is fat a bad word, what is fat anyway? Find freedom in your own body, in your own state of health, in your own beauty ideals! You can find freedom in the socialized concept of “fat”, the fear of fat no longer needs to exist!
Recap
- Your feelings are valid
- Fat is not a feeling
- Identify your “Fat Feelings”
- Identify that you can feel multiple feelings at one time – use AND instead of BUT
- Find self-awareness through ACTUALLY feeling your feelings
- Face your feelings
- Practice self-love and self-care
- Find freedom in “fat”
This is one small step towards finding a healthy body image! As you move through your weekend, remember that you are capable of loving yourself from the inside out and the outside in!
Self Care It Out Everyone!!