Soapy Self-Care – The Three Tiers of Self-Care

Self-care is a complex concept, similar to many of the topics that are discussed on this blog. I will break down this concept into three tiers as well as, provide an example of a multi-tiered practice of self-care that I use on a nightly basis!

 

 

 

 

 

1.Simplistic Self-Care is the purest tier of self-care and is also the most difficult to practice, in that it goes deeper than surface level. This level of self-care is introspective, it requires a level of self-compassion and self-awareness, it is allowing yourself to live in the grey, rather than a black and white world. For instance,

-Allowing yourself to feel multiple emotions at one time

-Feeling happy AND anxious AND regretful are all acceptable and rational feelings to have!

-Allowing yourself to cry when you are sad

-Allowing yourself to laugh and smile when you are happy

-Allowing yourself to eat when you are hungry

-Brining awareness to your fears and sitting in the discomfort of your emotions

-Having love and compassion for your flaws

-Taking care of your inner self and wellbeing

-Loving yourself for all of your flaws, inward, and outward

-Giving yourself the TIME to think and feel

-Doing what is best for you at a specific moment

-Calling to your needs

-Listening to your body and your emotional ques

Sometimes some cuddles with my pup is what I need for some introspection!

 

 

 

 

 

2.Luxury Self-Care is the second tier of self-care and it touches more on the surface, although it is is incredibly beneficial and important to your wellbeing! Taking care of yourself in a more tangible way is just as important as taking care of your emotional well-being, in that the two usually go hand in hand. For instance,

-Getting your heart pumping and endorphins flowing through a safe and healthy practice of exercise

-Aroma Therapy

-Having that glass of wine when you need to wind down

-Painting your nails

-Reading your favorite book

-Going for a walk after work

-Having your morning cup of coffee

-Snuggling with your loved one

-A ritual practice of yoga, and meditation

Getting your heart pumping doesn’t have to be strenuous or torturous! Do what is right for YOU, and that is self-care! Listen to your body…
Me post exercise, sweat, sunspots and all!

 

 

 

 

 

 

3.Self-Care For You is the third level of self-care, and it is when you allow others to take care of you, as we are constantly giving and providing for others. This is also considered luxury self-care, and is JUST AS IMPORTANT as the other two tiers, for instance,

-Getting a massage

-Having someone make you dinner

-Going on a date night

-Sharing your feelings with someone

-Getting your nails done

-Having a girls night

-Going out to the movies

-Going out to dinner

-Getting a babysitter

-Getting your hair done

With all of that being said here is one way that I am able to implement a multi-tiered practice of self-care on a nightly basis!

Mindful Face Washing:

As I look in the mirror I think about all of the stresses, anxieties, and annoyances that I experienced that day, I then decipher which ones I want to shed of. I chose those instances and stressors and wipe away my makeup, and with each wipe I clear away that stress. As I lather my face with face wash I think of all of the emotions that were fostered due to those stresses and as the suds gather so do my emotions. As I collect the warm water in my hands I think of the power of letting go, and with each splash of water I cleanse away those emotions. Once the water runs clear I diligently watch as each droplet of water goes down the drain, ridding of all stress and negative emotion from the day. I then look in the mirror and pat my face dry, and with that I confirm my gratitude’s from the day.

My Soapy Self-Care! I LOVE my Foreo-Luna!
A Good Robe Never Hurt Anyone!

Mindfully washing my face is just one way that I practice a multi-level of self-care! Try it tonight, and let me know how it works, and as always #selfcareitout!

 

 

“Have You Tried That Cleanse?!”…..#OverIt

“Oh are you doing the cleanse!?”

“Have you tried the Whole 30?”

“You eat carbs!?”

“Do you do clean eating?!”

These are all questions I have been asked in the past week. No, I am not ever offended by these questions, as I believe that people are usually doing their best to exist in this world, and trying to connect on a deeper level. Yet these questions are incredibly problematic, why you ask? Because the diet culture is rampant and oh so wrong! Yes, a cleanse is a diet! Yes, the term “eating clean” is a diet culture term. Yes, restriction of ANY food group is all due to the diet-crazed culture that we live in! Also please keep in mind I am not shamming anyone who has chosen the diet life, if anything I am bringing to light the reality in which we live!

These concepts, such as, cleansing the body, eating “whole” and “clean” foods, and restricting ESSENTIAL food groups such as carbs and gluten, are incredibly destructive  to the human mind! Words have so much power, and these terms and concepts put labels on our daily nourishment, it claims one food as BAD and another food as GOOD, it says that what we are doing is either “clean” or “dirty!”

(Pancakes are not and “indulgence” and donuts are not “dirty”….they are energy, they are FOOD!)

It is so important for us to educate ourselves and be aware of these words, questions and concepts that are being thrown at us on a daily basis! Such black and white terms cause us to feel self-hatred and self-resentment for purely nourishing our body, and this causes for a fear in food! And as you know I am all about #NoFearInFood

The weight loss industry is a BILLION dollar industry…I wonder why we haven’t cracked the code yet? If ANY diet or cleanse EVER worked it would be a ONE-dollar industry.

Diets do not work; they are incredibly problematic for our youth and detrimental to our emotional and mental well-being! They cause for us to lessen our self-worth, they create a culture that breeds self-loathing and no room for compassion.

As you can tell, I am incredibly passionate about this topic, and I will be touching on it a lot more, as it is the season for diets…(sigh)!

In the mean time, if you are for ANY reason want to start a cleanse or go on a diet check out this easy and DELICIOUS meal that is a natural anti-inflammatory and has those “cleansing” qualities. Keep in mind that when I use the word “cleansing” I use it very lightly, hence the quotations! The body naturally cleanses itself, you do not ever NEED a cleanse, especially if you are going to substitute the cleanse for a meal. Therefore if you feel the desire to “cleanse” take these tips instead! Avoid those fad diets!

This meal has a great balance of fat, grain, vegetable, and goodness! So skip the diet or cleanse and go with this stuff!

(This is a typical lunch for me, a balanced meal with not restriction.)

-A toasted bagel (whatever kind you fancy!)

-An avocado (how ever much you like!)

-A good sprinkle of turmeric and fresh cracked black pepper (powder turmeric mixed with black pepper is a natural anti-inflammatory, liquid turmeric is also a natural anti-inflammatory, so it’s really preference!)

-Topped with sliced cucumber and butter lettuce or spinach (yummy and crunchy vegetables)

-Always topped with olive oil and some garlic salt! Yummy and nutritious!

Stay tuned for more and don’t forget to self-care it out!

Be Your Own Advocate

Whether within recovery from poor self-image, people pleasing, lack of self worth, or an Eating Disorder, having a voice for yourself is crucial.

Advocacy is one of those things that doesn’t necessarily seem natural to us, in that we were never taught how to assert ourselves, promote ourselves and look out for the greater good of our souls. We grew up with parents, or guardians of some sort as our advocates, teachers, coaches, tutors, aids, peers, counselors, and even companies and government officials who speak on behalf of us. Within daily life, as an individual, the only advocate is yourself.

It takes courage, adjustment, and self-acceptance, but the moment you start to advocate for yourself, the moment you begin to look out for the greater good of your physical, mental, and emotional wellbeing, the moment you talk on behalf of your soul, is when you will truly be advocating for yourself, and this is self care at its finest!

If you don’t advocate for your emotional well being who will?! No one. Because, you, and you only, are the one who knows your limitations, boundaries, feelings, emotions and state of wellbeing. The absence of advocacy calls for compliance, blurred boundaries, lack of care for one’s self, and pure exhaustion.

You cannot live a happy and fulfilling life if you are constantly filling up someone else’s cup from your own supply, because that will only run you dry, leaving other people underserved in the end. Think of yourself as a barista…. you cannot properly and sufficiently serve others if you haven’t had the chance to stock up the fridge, prep the machine, or serve yourself! You must be your own barista, and serve yourself first, before you can serve others.

I am a recovering people pleaser, and self-advocacy is something that I struggle with on a daily basis, and with constant practice and time I have greatly improved! For a very long time I surrounded myself with friends that required constant service, in that I had hardly any time, if at all, to serve myself, metaphorically speaking, they were overly caffeinated individuals, and being their barista, I was at fault. It took me to the point of a breakdown that I realized I needed to speak up for myself. When a friend asks to go out for drinks during a busy week with school and work, I can now practice self advocacy by saying “I cant tonight because I don’t have it in me, I love you but I can’t.” Or sometimes I even say, “Thank you for the offer but I just need to have some time with Sean/myself/family.” It is OKAY to serve yourself, to advocate for yourself, to be honest and possibly displease others!

Advocacy is crucial in so many areas of our lives…

In Eating Disorder Recovery…

-Advocate for support when needed

-Advocate for space when needed

-Advocate for trust

-Advocate for treatment when needed

-Advocate for nourishment when needed

With friends

-Advocate for space when needed

-Advocate for support when needed

-Advocate for closure when needed

-Advocate for your self-care

With Work

-Advocate for your time

-Advocate for your professional and personal boundaries

-Advocate for your gender rights

-Advocate for EQUAL pay

-Advocate for a raise

-Advocate for a promotion

-Advocate for security

With yourself

-Advocate for nourishment

-Advocate for sleep

-Advocate for luxury

-Advocate for health

-Advocate for wellbeing

-Advocate for happiness

-Advocate for recovery

Lets advocate for self-advocacy! God knows that someone needs to stand up for your wellbeing!

Find your Flow and Growth within 2017

Happy Day to everyone!! 2017, I have positive, healthy and manageable expectations for you!…..oh my….even I rolled my eyes while writing that!

What I mean is that, as we move into this new year, I remind myself, and others, that a specific day and number do not dictate the outcome for the next 365 days of life! Instead, our thoughts, words, and actions affect the present and future, therefore having healthy expectations about this “new year” is incredibly helpful to our happiness, because, yes, we will set out a new plan and goals for ourselves, but we will have ourselves to thank for bringing any change to our current life flow.

I use the word expectation fairly often within my blog posts, and I do this because expectations can either set us up for success, and reality, or failure and disappointment, therefore when a manageable, and positive expectation is set, only growth can occur…no matter the actual outcome. As you set these expectations for 2017, I encourage you to change your train of thought and consider your current situation. Within your life, are you allowing flow? Are you truly experiencing the present, and flowing through the reality of your individual experiences? In other words, within this New Year, instead of setting expectations consider your flow, allow flow to occur, allow growth to occur.

  

 

 

 

 

 

I have been capturing different photos of water recently, because I find that it is the perfect description of life, of recovery, of growth and flow!

Eating Disorder recovery is not linear, in that it ebbs and FLOWS, there are dips and plateaus and peaks, but every experience is a part of recovery, because no matter what, we learn, and grow. Recovery is not linear, and it does not look or feel the same for everyone, remember this.

I say this, that recovery is not black and white, right or wrong, good or bad, but there are times that I do not apply that to myself. This is a common quality within individuals with eating disorders, we are selfless, we give more than we get, we give more, if not, all of our care and love to others, leaving nothing for ourselves, therefore ending up completely drained. I have been caught up in this spiral many of times, especially recently. I have been giving all of my care, emotional attention and knowledge to others within recovery, or others having a hard time within their lives, so much so, that I have drained myself. Yes, I have been practicing self care, but when I do so, I feel so emotionally drained that I have very little to run off of, in other words at times I feel as though I have been talking the talk….but not walking the walk.

I have felt somewhat of a disconnect from myself and my recovery self….when in reality we can be one! I do not have to put on my “recovery glasses” on to truly delve deep inside the secrets of ED recovery, rather, I need to take a step back, look at myself (literally and figuratively) and find where and what that disconnect is! I need to confront that disconnect, and be honest about it, without shame! I can help others while also helping myself and I can love others while also loving myself. I think a big part of me has been fearful that my readers would doubt MY FLAWS within their own recovery. But in reality, I can also go through those ebbs and flows, when I am in a ditch I can use my strength and knowledge, learn from that low point, pull myself up, and grow in the process of doing so!

I am no perfect picture of Eating Disorder Recovery, as there is not a perfect picture! Therefore, as I move through this new flow, this new process, this new year, I will cherish every moment, as it only allows me to grow, and mend that disconnect that has been lingering for a while now. Instead of setting expectations for this New Year, I will embrace my new flow, my growth with every high point and low point, and heal every wound with intentions, acceptance, recovery, love and care….and I encourage you to do so as well!

Happy New Flow my friends!

Turkey Day Tips

 

Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, and along with the busy schedules, family gatherings, and holiday celebrations, comes copious amounts of food, and with that, feelings of vulnerability and maybe even fear. Thanksgiving can be a wonderful time, but it can also be incredibly triggering and overwhelming for individuals living within their eating disorder or individuals within recovery. Here are some quick tips to get you ready for Turkey Day and all of the joy and spirit that comes with it!

 

  1. Prepare for Re-entry by managing your expectations…..click here to read more!
  1. Set yourself up for success!

You don’t HAVE to abide by all of the cultural traditions and odd rules that come with “giving thanks.” In other words, try to look at this holiday as any other day, in that you don’t HAVE to eat copious amounts of food in order to celebrate properly! You don’t HAVE to partake in the somewhat twisted traditions like running in a marathon or “turkey trot”, in order to “earn” your meal. You don’t HAVE to starve yourself all day in order to “indulgence” in dinner. Instead, you can go about your day as you usually would, listen to your body, eat when you are hungry, rest when you are tired, and practice self-love and self care!

  1. Acknowledge the unhelpful cultural traditions surrounding Thanksgiving

It is not natural, or helpful for your body to starve itself in order to feast on one large meal, especially for those within recovery. Therefore, make sure you avoid restricting during the day, and nourish your body when necessary. Therefore, if you utilize your healthy and helpful behaviors throughout the day, you will be able to enjoy and healthily indulge in your thanksgiving feast!

  1. Be easy on yourself

No need to beat yourself up for enjoying a cultural tradition! Nourish yourself throughout the day, and enjoy your thanksgiving meal with no guilt, as there is nothing “wrong” about giving thanks and indulging in a wonderful meal surrounded by family and friends. IF you take a tumble, and partake in unhealthy behaviors, remember that RECOVERY IS NOT LINEAR! It is okay to “mess up”, because we cannot learn and grow unless we learn from our mishaps. It is OKAY!….TAKE AWAY THE SHAME, and love yourself.

  1. Surround yourself with love

Take a tip from the re-entry post, and make sure to have an accountability buddy…..someone that you can be honest with and confide in, someone that you can trust and that understands your situation within recovery.

  1. Enjoy yourself

Have fun! Take what you can from the day, and enjoy the holiday! Give yourself a big hug, and tell yourself you are loved….because you are! Be thankful for yourself, your honesty, your body, your mind, your heart, and your soul…. because that is what allows you to live your life to the fullest.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

An Honest Look At Body Image Within Eating Disorder Recovery – Series pt. 1

Body Image. This is a tough one….I have said it before, and I will say it again and again….positive body image ALMOST ALWAYS comes last within recovery. Loving what you see in the mirror, appreciating your size, your weight, your natural curves, and appreciating all of the beautiful flaws within your physical image is so much harder than it seems.

So many individual’s struggle with this aspect of recovery….in that the mind can get away from us at times, and we start to become emotionally and sometimes physically consumed by the unrealistic perceptions we have about how we currently “see” ourself, how we want to “see” ourself, how we “see” other’s in comparison to ourself, and how we believe other’s “see” us. Yep, it sounds exhausting, and maybe even ridiculous, but this is the mind of someone within recovery.

I use these words carefully, in that when I say “see ourself”, or how “we see others”, I mean this literally, because that is what we are doing, I do not mean how we look or who we are, instead I mean how we perceive ourself. At times it seems that the physical self is somewhat dissociated from the emotional self, in that our appearance is wounded and therefore separated from the rest of us. In order to recover one must be ready to mend that wound, and finally introduce that physical self to the emotional self, and be ready to fight for a positive body image and finally be whole!

You may look one way to someone, and another way to someone else, but all that truly matters is how you perceive yourself and this is why a positive body image is so incredibly difficult to obtain. NO ONE, and I mean, NOONE, can change your mind about how you “see yourself”, EXCEPT for YOU. For goodness sake, Justin Timberlake could declare your beauty to the entire world, tell you that you are perfect, skinny, curvy, a bombshell, whatever…and still it won’t matter, because you won’t believe it, not until you can believe it.

It’s up to you, to do the work to literally retrain your brain, to eventually train your mind, and emotions towards how you “see” or perceive your body. Throughout recovery, you are taught to rid of your unhealthy behaviors, cope with life’s obstacles in a healthy manner, practice self care, love your inner self, and nourish your body, and all of this is a major triumph in itself….but to love what you “SEE”, to rid of that negative self talk, and accept that person staring back at you in the mirror….now that is AMAZING! I promise you, that this is possible, you can fully recover from your eating disorder, and by this I mean love who you are, as well as, love your perceived self.

Therefore, with the holidays approaching, and the new year creeping up on us, I believe it is time to take this oh so difficult part of recovery by the reins! As a collective force, we are going to start “seeing” ourselves with love, and true admiration….we are going to become inspired by what we “see” in ourselves. Throughout the next couple of weeks, I will be posting about the various components that relate to body image conception and eating disorder recovery….and with each other….we will get through this together!

As you move through this weekend, I challenge you to commit to working towards true self-love, in that, you will work towards loving what you “see” as much as you love who you are. Start to wrap your mind around the fact that this is possible, and you will get there….we will get there together!

To come: Clinical depictions of body image and eating disorder recovery, ways to implement self care into your healthy body image initiative, outside resources to keep you motivated, and personal and professional tidbits about body image conception and working towards full recovery.

The Fitness Culture within ED Recovery

We live in a fitness driven culture, and there are healthy ways to co-exist and thrive within this intense culture, therefore over the next few weeks, I will touch on how individuals within ED Recovery can succeed within today’s intense fitness culture. This #MotivationIsNotJustForMondays post is an overview of the current fitness culture, and how it affects those within ED and ED Recovery.

Millennials…this is somewhat of a tainted word in my book…. why you ask? Because it is a label that my peers, and myself fall under, a label that is saturated in shame, false assumptions, and negative perceptions, therefore I cringe when using this term, because in reality Millennials are incredibly innovative, hard working, and understand the balance between work, health and happiness.

Across the country, Millennials have revolutionized exercise, more so than any other generation. Think of all of the gyms, fitness clubs, yoga studios, barre boutiques, and spin classes with cult like followings, and even fitness apps where you can have access to a fitness class literally at your fingertips (See my Skyfit app posts…linked here). Yes, this generation has changed the way the world looks at physical activity, and health; statistics even prove that Millenials are the healthiest generation as of yet. 81% of Millennials claim to exercise on a regular basis, compared to that of 61% of Baby Boomers…therefore 76% of all regular exercisers are Millennials. Therefore, Millennials have had a major impact on exercise culture. For more statistics click here.

There are so many pros within this new view on physical activity, in that it creates a new focus on overall health within our every day lives. Focusing on health and wellbeing is a beautiful thing that I, and most helping professionals promote. Although, it is important to remember that when within a state of recovery, or a vulnerable state within your Eating Disorder (ED), it can be somewhat dangerous to engage within this exercise focused culture. I am not, by any means, saying that this fitness culture is negative or bad, instead I am pointing out the risks and dangers within this culture when living with ED.

For instance, as a millennial (cringe), a major part of my self-care is exercise and physical activity, but the intense hype that exercise receives on a social basis is incredibly triggering and intimidating for me within my own recovery. I consider myself far along within my recovery, and many professionals would consider me fully recovered, therefore it says a lot that I feel triggered within this fitness culture.

This fitness culture, focused around the intensity of exercise, can be incredibly triggering for anyone within ED Recovery. Certain messages can be persuasive to push oneself harder than necessary, to carry unhealthy motivations behind one’s exercise, and cause for behaviors that are detrimental to one’s recovery.

While we co-exist within this intense, pro health, fitness culture, it is crucial to stand close to your recovery and continue to bring awareness to the motivations behind your exercise. So as you move through this weekend, I challenge you to acknowledge the feelings that are raised while we live within this culture. I challenge you to find healthy motivations, and to keep yourself safe within your recovery as you partake in self care, whether that be through physical activity or not!

We will check in next week to discuss how to safely approach and thrive within today’s fitness culture, when living within ED and ED Recovery. Dont’ forget to Self Care it Out People!!! #SelfCare

Tips and Tricks For Re-entry and Triggering Situations This Fall

It’s already October 17-college fall breaks are coming and going, and before you know it, the holidays will be here! With breaks, vacations and the holiday spirit comes so many wonderful things…. pumpkin flavored coffees, changing leaves, cooler and crisper weather, giving love and thanks, and celebrating your loved ones! Yes, the onset of fall and the emerging holidays bring about so many great things, cheer, and happiness…but certain anxieties, and triggers are brought upon as well. Does this ring any bells?

Whether you are coming home from college, grabbing a meal with an old friend, going to a high school reunion or college homecoming, seeing your long distance significant other, or just going to a family party, the realities of re-entry will always be there. Re-entry is incredibly anxiety provoking, and therefore quite triggering for anyone within ED Recovery.

For instance, think about that time you came home from college, or visited your family from across the country…. there is this pressure to be the “adult you”, to be “the new professional you”, but there is also the expectation to fall into that old role of the daughter, sister, brother, son….not to mention the expectation to have “the best family weekend ever,” to “make amends with someone”, to “have it be like old times”….but in reality you are somewhat of a changed person. The “old you” is great, and beautiful, but also riddled with memories of living with your eating disorder, and using unhealthy behaviors. Therefore, this “simple” re-entry quickly turns into an overwhelming situation filled with toxic memories and unrealistic expectations…. because no matter how hard you try, you will not be the “old you,” and that’s how life is meant to work!

One thing that is learned within recovery, is that recovery is sacred….health comes first….because without health there is no opportunity for life, for friends, for family, for fun! This is incredibly difficult for family members, and loved ones to understand…. because once you are away and gone, and once you “look” like you are “recovered” from you Eating Disorder, they EXPECT you to be “the old you,” have fun, without any worries or second thoughts! But when in recovery, especially during times of stress and vulnerability, your recovery comes first, your health comes first…because again, what do you have if you don’t have your health….if you don’t have a sense of care for yourself?

When in recovery, re-entry is all about managing these expectations, vulnerabilities and triggers first by acknowledgement, then by setting up a safe plan when in times of a triggering state. Therefore when you “re-enter” into any possible vulnerable situation it is important to have a few tips and tricks on hand to protect your recovery and maintain self-care…

tess-jayne-and-claire

This weekend was the first time my immediate family has been together without any significant others….in about five years! It was AMAZING being together, but no matter what re-entry is somewhat anxiety provoking…therefore, these tips and tricks came in handy!

  1. Be aware and Realistic: With re-entry comes so many false and unrealistic expectations, so be honest with yourself…. ask yourself a few questions…

Q: What are your personal expectations of this situation and re-entry as a whole?

Q: Are you worried about other people’s expectations?

Q: What are the reasons behind your personal expectations, as well as, the assumed expectations of others?

Q: Are any of those expectations unrealistic?

Q: What will happen if you do not meet any of those expectations?

Q: Are any of those expectations harmful to your recovery?

Once you answer these questions, bring some light to your newfound reality, take some breaths and give yourself sometime to manage these expectations.

  1. Manage your expectations: Once you bring some reality and awareness to your expectations take some time to create some realistic, healthy and recovery safe expectations. Again you can ask yourself a few questions…

Q: How much reality can you bring to this re-entry?

Q: What expectations can you create for myself that are safe for my recovery?

Q: What anxieties arise when you create these expectations?

Q: What can you do to make these expectations safe and realistic?

  1. Have a support system on hand: This is incredibly important, especially when in the beginning stages of recovery. Many people will not understand the delicate nature of your recovery, therefore it is crucial to have someone to go to, lean on, and talk to, within re-entry/a vulnerable situation. This can be someone in person, or on the phone.
  1. Pack a travel sized comfort box: I have touched on the miracles of the “comfort box” within my self-care pages and posts. This is something that you go to whenever you feel vulnerable, after using behaviors, in place of using behaviors, and finding safety within your recovery. Therefore when in re-entry, bring along a travel comfort box. For instance, I used to bring nail polish, a travel journal, and headphones to listen to my music, and bath salts for stressful times. Self-Care, Self-Care, Self-Care!!!
  1. Be kind and gentle with yourself: It is only possible to manage your own personal expectations…. therefore, if for some reason you do not meet other people’s expectations IT IS OK!!! Remember, your recovery and health comes first…. and this may mean that you disappoint others; this may mean that you let others down, and that is okay! You have to be kind to yourself, and be okay with disappointing others, you have to be okay with failing other’s expectations, because in then end…. your recovery comes first! So be gentle with yourself, it will be okay!

So as we move into this season filled with cheer, vacations, and holiday breaks….bring some reality into the situation to control and manage your expectations, and care for yourself during re-entry by practicing self care!